Gentleness : Power in Softness!

GENTLENESS is defined as showing consideration and personal concern for others. There is a proverb which says that "a gentle tongue breaks a bone". How true! As human beings, we are created to be relational. Machines are functional but you and I are wired to be relational. We cannot jump just at a touch of a button - there is a couldron of emotions and motivations within us that needs to be addressed before we are motivated to act. In other words, we don't care what others know until we know how much they care!

GENTLENESS is a character quality that requires strength and self-control. Think about it - it doesn't require character strength for someone to raise his voice and vent his anger but it does require that extra inner quality for someone to control his tongue and speak in a way that addresses the issue but not attack the person. Practice GENTLENESS by being careful and conscience with not only what you say but also how you say it. GENTLENESS is the character quality that will help you make the connection between the head and the heart. Demonstrate it well and you will develop relationships that are high on loyalty and commitment.

Forgiveness : The Tongue Bites!

One of the most inaccurate rhymes of all times is "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Words can be so hurtful and damaging to a person that it can be liken to a snake's venom. Can you recall a time when you have been hurt? Often it can be traced back to offensive and degrading words. I could still remember the time when my Primary 3 English teacher calling me "slow-coach" in front of my classmates. The fact that it is lodged in my 40-year old brain shows that the effect is still lingering!

Venom, which can cause pain, nausea, swelling and even death, can be neutralized by a positive electrical charge (amazing, huh?). Similarly, by choosing to FORGIVE (clearing the record of those who have wronged me and not holding a grudge), I am consciously choosing to apply the "anti-venom" of bitterness and refusing to let the hurt fester and grow. That is why it is important to keep short accounts. Personally, I find it helpful to address misunderstandings and conflicts before the end of the day - the longer I wait, the further the venom spreads. It takes a special maturity to take the first step and initiate dialog. It certainly takes extra wisdom if you learn how to understand your "enemies" from their perspective instead of being defensive. Forgiveness is about taking my eyes off my own needs and hurts to see a bigger picture which involves other parties as well. It is a gracious quality that is often overlooked in this world.